Have you ever been hurt?
So badly that you really struggled to forgive and move on?
Sometimes, the hurt we feel, the injustice we face, seem so big that we do not want to let go, that we want to stay angry, resentful, with whoever hurt us, or with the world for allowing it.
Our anger feels righteous.
We have been wronged.
We are allowed to - we even want to - feel resentful about it.
What happens next?
We disconnect, by refusing to connect.
We punish the other, or the world, by casting them out.
But who are we really disconnecting when we do that?
Yes, our self. Whilst we hold on to our resentment, we are the one in the corner, alone.
My feeling is that as human beings, as herd-animals, we need connection more than anything else.
Who do you think feels more connected?
The victim who has chosen to forgive the perpetrator?
Or the victim who holds on to the hurt?
Especially in relationships, it is easier to be the one who dishes out blame, and harder to be the one who forgives and moves on.
I was once told that "you can choose to be either right, or happy".
Now, those who know me well know how hard it is for me not to be right...
Yet life keeps setting me that same challenge (as life tends to do, until we "get it"). And I guess life is setting it for everyone else too.
We can choose to be self-righteous in our anger, and stay disconnected, or we can choose to forgive, and strive to reconnect.
The choice is ours, every single time.
What will you choose next time?